I often used to wonder why I had my heart broken so many times. This painful, traumatizing, paralyzing pain that no one can see, yet so severe you feel it could destroy the universe. I eventually came to terms with it that a lot of it had to do with the hearts I had broken, and the sins I had committed. One of the most valuable lessons I learned though was that I went through all of those experiences so that I would sympathize and empathize with all those that would go on to share their stories with me. I want to share some tips with you that will help mend your heart and give you some direction, insha Allah.
1- You will only find comfort in the remembrance of Allah. You will want to do a variety of things to drown out the pain but nothing will permanently eradicate it like the remembrance of Allah and worshiping Him. Temporary fixes only make it worse.
2- Understand that anything that surpasses you was never meant to be yours in the first place. Allah loves us more than our own mothers and if He decreed that something was meant to pass you by it is what is best for you. You will realize this sooner or later.
3- Drowning in your thoughts and sorrows will do you no good. Rather take this opportunity to look at the things you may have done wrong, learn from them, seek Allah’s forgiveness, and get involved in something productive. No one’s situation has ever improved by just drowning in their thoughts, it always required action. Figure out what actions you need to take in your life and start taking baby steps towards it.
4- Surrounding yourself with positive well wishers. The people you hang around with will make a huge difference in how you react and how quickly you recover. Your truest friends are those that remind you of Allah and the hereafter the most. Get rid of all of the pessimists and ill-advisers.
5- When you hit rock bottom you have no where to go but up. Work your way back up by keeping a checklist of small goals you want to achieve throughout the day and week. Every time you feel overwhelmed document it in a journal and get it off your mind. Your best course of action will be to increase in seeking Allah’s forgiveness, pouring your heart out to Allah in your supplications, and asking Allah for everything your heart desires with the condition that it be best for your dunya and aakhirah.
Your patience and trust have no reward except for paradise, and what you lost pales in comparison to paradise. Rather than focusing on what you lost, now make your focus on what you have to gain, as the latter will always outweigh the former.
You’re not alone. The one that understands you best and loves you most is only a supplication away.